PENUEL (I have seen God face to face and survived) I bribed my way through favour Grabbing and holding unto power Unto the glitters and colours of the earth - Yet I remained unfulfilled I made gains both small and great A mighty man blessed indeed With wealth and wisdom and what have you - Yet unhappy I remained My bounty a sackful I carried all my life Hoping its presence could grant me happiness Holding on tight to it's weight - Yet a weary soul I remained Until mercy came and attacked my lie Grace exposed the deceit I wore quite well And brought to light the ashes I was - Yet I fought back I scratched and punched and kicked Afraid to be humbled and healed Afraid to surrender my image -Yet you didn't leave Your hands- those fingers that moulded me The channel through which I came into being Your merciful hands - the rod that hurts yet saves - You broke me It was pain that opened me up Allowed me to see you face to face It was sorrow deep and lonely -That brought me to you ''Bless me lord, bless me lord I won't let go till you bless me lord'' Whatever I was called matters no more Today, mercy broke me And grace called me by a new name - I am a new creature I need not have sleepless nights Worrying about my pain and shame Or the gains I let go to find you - Today I count it all as loss A greater power I now possess I am anointed, distinguished, blessed... I am Penuel - For I have seen God face to face, And survived
JLF Maikaho was born and raised in Gombe state, Nigeria. She writes poetry and fiction and sometimes dabbles in nonfiction. When she’s not writing at midnight or reading esoteric literature, she’d be caught wondering why she wishes it would rain everyday.