We have come to the age and era where we have less kids. We can say for sure that we have children based on their age groups, but the mind sets of these children have been tampered with by the same set of people who are supposed to protect and nurture them. You will be amazed at how knowledgeable these children are as regard sexual activities, lots of children have been subjected to unimaginable things by persons who behave less humans. I keep pondering on how these victimizers think before carrying out their despicable acts. If only they knew, if only they had light understanding of the long lasting damage they have caused in the lives of these victims. If only they had light understanding that their actions have just changed the world view of that child for the worse.
A child that is sexually abused in his or her formative years (1-6 years) still battles with the actions of these perpetrators years after, they face the consequences of someone else’s actions. These victims have to wake up daily to fight hidden demons of fear, pain, low self-esteem, anger, self-pity, and so on. While these perpetrators walk around freely like they have committed no crime, some are so extremely religious and yet they do unspeakable things. I understand that some of these ill-mannered beings are paedophiles, but should that be used as an excused for their actions? Due to their actions, many youths are broken and right under their gorgeous smiles and beautiful faces is a sense of less self-worth. To top it all is the pain that comes with the realization that they have no confidante, thanks to our society for making sure of that. Our society keeps crucifying these victims for the sins of others. Isn’t it absurd?
I remember staying with a relative of mine when I was in primary three and his wife would maltreat me whenever he was not around. At some point I had to open up to my mum and it became a big issue in the family. I got the biggest shock of my life when another uncle of mine said I should have kept quiet and pointed out the damage I’ve caused. I believed him while I blamed myself for speaking out. However, over the years, I’ve come to realize that his statement, advice was very wrong. Wrong advises such as this also applies to these victims. Blaming them for them for being sexually abused is like torturing them over and over again, while those that needs to be blamed for their actions are freemen.
Temitope Awonusi is a writer and founder of Natural Flowers Community.