Three Poems by Aobakwe Jasmine Lingiwe Diteko

FINDING WHAT ISN’T LOST

 

I looked for myself see…

Searched hard from land to sea…

Trying to figure out what I’m meant to be…

But I never saw the truth in front of me…

 

I dug and scraped so I could find peace…

Trying to find the missing puzzle piece…

I didn’t know though, my knowledge was amiss…

Cause I never saw the truth in front of me…

 

I tried building myself using rusted scraps…

I moulded what I thought was very fab…

Turns out what I’d done was just drab…

As I never saw the truth in front of me…

 

But then I met the Author of my salvation…

The Maker of my existence and destination…

Now I understand why I never found me while searching…

I wasn’t lost I was hidden…

Deep within glory and excellent exaltation…

Under Your wing, beneath Your love Lord I found myself…

 

 

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

 

ONE… I hate how you condemn me…

Making me to believe I’m not worth anything that I am and that I’m not deserving of everything that I have…

How I wake up feeling worthless and go to sleep feeling convicted and found guilty because you wrote it in my heart that I have to please God in order for Him to find me pleasing…

 

TWO… I hate how you`ve reprogrammed me…

From a child of god to a slave under bondage who lives weary and conscious of how I fall short of His glory every time…

 

THREE… I hate how you controlled me…

You told me I had to be good for Him to even look at me, why didn’t you remind me that He died for me long before I even breathed sin?

How was a new creation when I was still chained to my past faults?

 

FOUR… I hate how you stole me…

You carried me away from my Father promising the world when you knew full well it belongs only to my Father!

You made the prodigal child, and like a fool I fell…

I believed you and you conned me, betrayed me and lied to me. Was it all just to get back at my Father?

 

FIVE… I hate how you used me…

I was I a pawn to your chess game of rebellion and ego, you lured me under false pretenses and told me I’d be enlightened if I ate the fruit from the tree.

You knew I never meant any harm but still you used my naivety and gullibility just to prove a point to the Maker of all that is that you would stoop to the lowest of lows to win…

 

SIX… I hate how you perverted me…

Leading me to bask in sin and be content with disobeying The Holy Spirit and uprooting every good work He has planted in me.

You told me to be at ease with lying, to be satisfied with stealing, to be pleased with killing and to be fulfilled when breaking my Lord`s heart with my wicked ways.

 

SEVEN… I hate how you deceived me…

You put it up on social media, in the streets and hearts of your spawns to paint the sinful life blissful and distorted my vision so much I couldn`t see Christ in me – the hope of glory – and I saw your lies with rose-tinted glasses.

You said sin and I obeyed, you said don’t be holy and I agreed, at which point were you planning on telling me that you were setting me UP for a DOWNfall?

That the pavement you and I were strolling on was paved with deceit and that EXIT was the ENTRANCE to your fiery furnace for eternity?

 

EIGHT… I hate how you lied to me…

You truly are the father of lies, you roared and thundered and spewed lies cocooned with truth so I wouldn’t be able to discern, you sold me rotten eggs soaked in perfume so I wouldn’t be able to smell the stink.

John 8:44 describes you down to the tiniest dirtiest detail, you truly are cunning…

You came at me as a wolf in sheep`s clothing and even got the bleating down pat, I thought I was hearing sound doctrine.

You even got me to blame myself for the fact that you dug under my skin and conscience and planted doubt my God.

I’m not playing misunderstood, but I was amiss and never understood, that the truth set me free, from you and everything you are about…

From your lies and making me believe smut… no more walking around with a cloud of muck over my head, being led from trials to errors in my trial and error.

 

NINE… Penultimately, I hate how you killed me…

You gave me a bite of sin, from that came a spoonful of indulgence, then I had a mouthful of habit which turned into a heap of addiction that went down my throat and choked me from the inside out. You killed me silently, you’ve been killing me softly…

You fed me poison promising medicine, you said go ahead and live for the moment…

Little did I know that spiritual death came one compromise at a time…

 

TEN… And lastly Lucifer, I hate how you made me revengeful…

I will avenge the innocence you took from me, the glory you stole from me, the perfection you removed from me and the love of GOD you kept from me.

The wages of sin is death, and I am evidence of that fact, I died to myself, I died to my God, I died to the world, I died to right living, I died in you…

I Corinthians 15:26 says “the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death”.

So while awaiting the return of the Messiah I’m going to return the favor…

I will raise up my hands and I will live for God and there won`t be anything you can do about it…

I will love, I will be faithful, I will convert, I will produce, I will obey Him.

I will undo you and continue giving you spiritual blows until all of hell knows, I am my beloved`s and my beloved is mine.

And I will not be remorseful, not even close, not even a little bit…

 

Not even at all.

 

 

BROKEN TO PEACE

 

I asked GOD why

For the millionth time

On my knees with my shoulders hung

I came before HIM as shards of broken pieces

And again I asked HIM

WHY pain won’t ever leave me

 

Why I can’t ever find comfort

Like a motherless child

Why I can’t ever find rest

From the hollowness inside

But most importantly I asked HIM

To get rid of this hurt that won’t subside

 

Even when I try to keep my heart hidden

When I keep it secured and locked away

The wound drips from within

The scars bleed from under my skin

So I asked GOD why

And for the first time in an eon HE answered me

 

HE said:

Baby, I’ve called you to heal broken people, sick people, dying people

To testify of how I made you whole

To the lonely and depressed

You will tell them

Of how I stuck closer than a brother

 

And for those who are suicidal

You will say to them in joy

“HE saved me from myself”

You will tell the victims of rapes and self-hatred

How you found light at the end of the tunnel

Of how you found ME at the end of yourself

 

You will hold drunkards and drug addicts

And show them a divine transformation

Of the peace you found in ME while drowning in your sorrows

And how it has lasted longer than the temporary peace of bottle and capsule

You will tell them with lips and with tears

That I have been your new song, your everlasting song

 

You will say to the burdened and grieving

That MY love far exceeds what they are feeling

You will tell those abandoned and in fear

That I will never leave nor forsake

And for those who have lost and are lost

You will help find their greatest gain; ME

 

All the pain in the world you have carried

On behalf of those who have to go through it

All the pain in the world you have felt

Because all the pain in the world you will heal

You are MY hand of healing to a world that is ailing

So run through it MY love, and give the baton of rest

To the ones who are coming after you

When you have finally finished your race

Aobakwe Jasmine Lingiwe Diteko

Aobakwe Jasmine Lingiwe Diteko is a 23 year old female from Mahalapye, Botswana. She have a passion for both GOD and poetry so she usually express her love and gratitude in the form of christian poetry. Most of her poems tell her testimony and experiences since she came into the Kingdom. Her passion is to have her work published for all to learn and be inspired.

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